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May 2002 - Issue 37
Word Play We take the opportunity to talk about not only how to use words to create descriptions, but how to use words to set a mood, paint an exotic visual panorama for a story or how to create rhythm in fiction to enhance the story. ALSO... Visit EmporiumGazette.com We have our guidelines available for your convenience and have posted our planned monthly themes so you can submit your writing to us. Even our back issues are available. Sign up to receive the Emporium Gazette monthly.
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HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARY EMPORIUM GAZETTE WORDS: BUILDING BLOCKS OF WORLDS CLICHÉS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS FROM ANOTHER ANGLE PUBLICISTS - NECESSITY OR EXTRAVAGANCE? POETRY WORLD THE WANT-TO-BE WIZARD
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Happy Anniversary Emporium Gazette It's really hard to believe that The Emporium Gazette has been around a full three (3) years now. If you take a look at our humble beginnings, you'll immediately see that we've really come a long way and bloomed well. Part of this blossoming glow goes to you, our readership; and to those who have submitted their work for us to share with you. Of course, the staff has been remarkable. To commemorate this special occasion, The Emporium Gazette will institute a new monthly department entitled: Writing Avenues. This new segment will allow you to break that "writer's block" between your mind and the paper. The Emporium Gazette will give you a writing challenge to open your imagination to new insights. We hope it assists you on your path to being published. Writing Avenues This is a writing challenge. If you decide to accept, only you will be the final judge. Fate will be peeking over your shoulder for this one. Open your favorite newspaper to the "For Sale" columns, close your eyes and and randomly pick an ad. Now you're stuck with it. Read the ad -- no cheating by changing! Think about your ad and then mull it over for a few more seconds. NOW! Write at least one page on whatever you thought about. That's right, create a short story, any genre or a poem, from the "For Sale" item you picked out. * * * * * If you have a quick or interesting way to break that writer's block and get your creative juices flowing, email us with it and we'll share it with others as a challenge.
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Words: Building
Block of Worlds Words are the atomic elements a writer constructs his success upon. This doesn't mean your dialogue needs to read like a dictionary. It does suggest you need some command of language and how it is used by different segments of our society. If anything is essential to a writer's publication, talented word choice is it. Like your characters, words modify, describe, tickle, suggest, distort, and power your story toward its conclusion. Talented writers make the most of their nouns and verbs. These building blocks of our imaginary worlds are more varied than the elements of the periodic table. Good verbs explode across our pages in an inky super nova, and expand through the white void toward the margins from the big bang. Think of your words as the colorful dots on a Renoir painting: They must paint a similar mosaic across your characters' souls. This is true whether you've chosen science fiction or children's writing. Drama is in the reader's mind. This element will arrive stillborn unless the characters become real. This birth requires emotion and conflict. Compare your words to hydrogen, the gas cooked by the fusion of our sun. Either can create something new when combined with other elements or explode like a bomb, leaving only shadowy ghosts of lost hope on a charred walls. (Never underestimate the power of a metaphor or a simile when considering your sentence's construction. I hope you spotted both in the previous paragraphs.) Most writers feel the power of verbs coursing through their veins. Anyone who has written more than two manuscripts will run as fast as their legs will take them from dull, meaningless verbs. Some verbs do little to describe a character's attitudes or feelings. If you don't believe me, consider the verbs: look, stand, sit, and walk. These words do not expand your world. At best they're road-kill armadillos with their feet turned toward the clouds. At least these tell you that you're still in Texas. Why not use a word that says something about your heroine's attitudes? Words like stomped, shuffled, tiptoed, paced, even slithered, tell the reader more about the fears or attitudes of a character than a bland "walked." A thesaurus wouldn't hurt when dealing with the word look, either. Why not substitute studied, scrutinized, spied, glanced, gazed, peeked, or glared? Ask yourself, Why is this person "looking" at this other thing or woman? Is he curious, nervous, scared, or angry? Usually this will tell you which verb fits. Most writers go to considerable pains to profile their main characters. You dribble in a drop of insecurity into your heroine's cauldron of a soul before pouring in equal parts of sweet love and salty regret. Doesn't her language deserve equal consideration? By the time you've written that first chapter, the author understands what the protagonist feels. If you've done your job, you know her hometown, parents, friends, previous jobs, boss, even her lovers. Let your character's words reflect some of this background. Use her past to gather a vocabulary as unique as her personality. Perhaps she is a cop. She'd likely have a unique slang that is bound to spill over into her after-hours life. Words like pop, score, blow, pimp, pusher, and rock probably have double if not numerous meanings. If she was a fashion designer, she might describe things in terms of fabric. She might say that her boss is "about as smooth as a corduroy couch, transparent as a wedding veil," or maybe "obvious as wet silk." Let those hours you spent developing your character's past pump your story full of original dialogue. Don't insult your readers by repeating information even if it is revealed differently. Assuming you introduced the details correctly the first time, they'll remember. If a reminder is needed, a few words will do. A common error, even for veteran writers, is repeated words. Avoid using the same or similar word roots in nearby sentences. Flex your writing skills while you stretch your vocabulary. This is where reading aloud will help. Repeated words usually read like a dump-truck loaded with trash cans hitting multiple speed bumps. You'll hear every bounce, each rattle, as lids clatter across the pavement and crash into fences. You have hypnotized your reader, and have her lounging in the silk of your plot. Stroke that reader's ear like a purring kitten and don't spoil that mood. Let your word choices launch your career into the
rare atmosphere of fame if not fortune. Make the most of your building
blocks. * * * * * Ronald Wayne Jones is the Managing Editor for Emporium Gazette and author of "Black Breath of the Lutron" and "The Dwarf and the Demon Tongue" which are available through 23 House.
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Ten (10) completely original pieces that span and combine the genres of music with interesting twists: Ireland Down Under: Ireland with a
touch of Australia All are available to preview
in either Real Player or Windows Media Player format. It's a free listen
or you may purchase your copy of the audio cd format online!
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Clichés
Speak Louder Than Words I once had an English teacher, a soft spoken lady, who in a one-on-one dead-serious heart-to-heart talk warned me to avoid clichés like the plague. She was a remarkable teacher, head and shoulders above the rest, and although a lot of water has gone under the bridge since she taught me a thing or two about writing, quite frankly I have a bone to pick with her sagely advice. By definition a cliché is a trite or overused expression. Granted, most of them don't contain a grain of sense or amount to a hill of beans and are as dull as dish water. Most aren't worth a plug nickel. But there are many that still hit the nail on the head. Despite their heavy duty use they continue to strike pay dirt. Although worn to a frazzle they remain on the tip of our tongue. It's been an uphill battle, and a tough row to hoe, but they've toed the line, stubborn as any mule stuck in the mud. A reason for that is that many of them are proverbs. Bits of wisdom from past decades, still ripe for the picking, still in the pink, still plain as day. Maybe I'm bananas and should go climb a tree, but allow me to bend your ear a moment: Next time you come across a worn out phrase don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Play it by ear and put your nose to the grindstone. You may have to scratch below the surface, but I guarantee if you play your cards right you'll find a little wisdom there -- bright as a button, sharp as a tack, and as plain as the nose on your face. At first blush it might not seem like much, so don't go counting your chickens before they hatch. Bide your time. Have a little faith. Remember, wonders never cease. Seek out that dew drop of distilled wisdom. Go whole hog! Reexamine those tired old phrases. Beat around the bush until the crow flies between the devil and the deep blue sea. Keep a stiff upper lip and remember: It's all in a days work, all in the eye of the beholder. And when it comes to wisdom, isn't half a loaf better than none? -Originally published in The Providence Sunday Journal 4/27/97- * * * * * Bob Thurber's
essays, poems and fictions have appeared in a number of publications
including Zoetrope's All Story Extra, elimae, Cafe Irreal, The Melic
Review, The Providence Journal, In Posse Review, Blue Murder and Linnaean
Street (which awarded him its coveted Award for Excellence and Clarity
in Writing for stories published in the Spring 2000 issue). He recently
won second place in FlashQuake¹s Fall Flash Fiction issue, and
he has work forthcoming in a Fiction Anthology from Agony Press. Bob
Thurber is now a Contributing Editor to Linnaean Street, and coeditor
of the critically acclaimed literary site, Gargoyle: Arts and Letters
on the Web.
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From Another
Angle SO MANY WORDS, SO MANY WAYS Most wonderful of all are words, and how they Ever dream of writing a story with the skill O. Henry showed in "Gift of the Magi?" We're lucky, we writers, to have the opportunity to write an equally memorable piece with our choice from a million or more-words that will make friends one with the other. There are probably a billion ways to mix and match verbs, nouns, similes and metaphors. That easy, huh? Nope! We must learn to use those words to produce descriptions, set a mood, paint visual panoramas, and sculpt characters our reader will remember. Oh, yes, we must also create rhythm and beats in fiction to enhance the story. To coax my words into making friends, I turn to Dwight Swain's "Techniques of the Selling Writer." He advises the writer to break down the copy into smaller and smaller units. "Spell out each flicker of meaning or feeling." Summarize facts and mechanics, but detail whatever is so emotionally pertinent that it can create tension or otherwise change the focal character's state of mind. Swain's motivation-reaction units have smoothed my writing path countless times. Write a sentence or two without your focal character in the scene. Follow it with one or more sentences putting your character on stage. Here's a version of Dwight Swain's example: Now with a roar, the red Jag picked up speed. Careening recklessly, it hurtled down the drive; then, with a scream of protesting tires, fishtailed onto the highway. Stiff-lipped, Brad turned from the window. "I've had it!" he snapped, grinding out his cigarette. "She can go to hell!" Dwight explains that the first section, the one without mentioning Brad, is the motivation part. It describes what the character is going to react to. This portion does so in terms precise enough to make it plausible that the character reacts in the manner the writer wishes. In this case, "stiff-lipped" and "grinding out his cigarette" reveals his state of mind. Motivation-reaction units will clarify, justify, and take the clutter out of your writing. Certainly, there's more to the story-the rhythm, the
beat, choosing from the million or so words available to us. Nearing
your final revisions, Dwight Swain's M-R units will help your words
to make friends. Then one day perhaps you, too, will write a story with
the unforgettable qualities of O. Henry's "Gift of the Magi." * * * * * Susan Long Turner is co-author with Russ Turner of "Wings Born Out of Dust" which is available now from 23 House Publishing and is also available in trade paperbacks and hardback at other major online bookstores. Visit her Website
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TAX - FINANCIAL WOES? Have your income taxes given your checkbook the financial equivalent of writer's block? e-mail your tax questions to James G. Rogers, C.P.A., a 26-year veteran of the tax code and an author himself. Mr. Rogers knows the problems authors and others face dealing with this annual chore. For a $5.00 fee, all of which goes to support the Gazette, you can have your answers e-mailed back to you promptly so you can get back to writing. You can even pay by credit card at our secure server. Go to: http://www.23house.com to leave your question.
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NEED A WRITING CONTEST
JUDGE? Sue Long Turner is an award-winning author who has been writing professionally for more than forty years. "I kept three children and a goldfish fed writing for a variety of publications in addition to working full time for television and ad agencies. Now that I'm retired, I enjoy helping others do what I still love to do." Ms. Turner provides brief but thorough critiques for a reasonable fee or honorarium. Her comments are objective, encouraging to the experienced writer, and compassionate to the beginner. All categories, including poetry. Contact: sueturner@texasinternet.com
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Publicists
- Necessity or Extravagance? "As the publicist, it is impossible for us to ensure [an author's] success in relation to sales, as there are far too many factors out of our control that are critical in success. It is the merit of the book, the talent of the author, the method of distribution, and the ultimate acceptance by the buying public that will be the determining factors in recovering [an author's] publishing investment." The same publicist who made this statement provided me with a proposal for $26,100, to help me market my book for six-months. This was to include strategy meetings, re-writing my press kit, using their clipping service, consulting, re-writing my bio, and guaranteeing the transmittal of two press releases. They also proposed an additional $6,000 fee, which guaranteed me eight signings over the same six-month period. There are other nationally known literary publicists who charge a flat fee of $100.00 for a full twelve-month listing on their web site where reporters, editors, producers, and talk show hosts may or may not visit - looking for story ideas. Also available to authors are tons of post-publishing self-help books, videotapes, newsletters, and on-line seminars about virtually every subject that's part of the marketing equation. This doesn't include the hundreds of writing, publishing, and marketing seminars, conferences and workshops available to authors throughout the country each year. I recently subscribed to Bradley Communications' Book Marketing Update Newsletter. Although I'm normally very leery about paying money for any newsletter or service, I've been very impressed with the quality of their bimonthly newsletter (approximately 7-12 pages each) that discusses real-time current trends and contact information for all forms of media. They cover many other book marketing related subjects. If you register on their email list, you'll receive specials on their newsletters, affording you a fairly good deal. For further information, visit their site at www.rtir.com. So, what's the answer to marketing and publicizing the culmination of your blood, sweat and tears? It all depends. Let's step back and look at some basics. Searching for and employing a literary publicist is no different than looking for and hiring a CPA, attorney, plumber, agent, etc. There are good, reputable companies out there, and there are not so good companies. As you write and modify your marketing plan (which should be done before you see your final galley), ask yourself, "Does a publicist truly provide services that I as the author and owner of my book am completely unable to accomplish myself?" The second issue you should ponder is the term "success." Many publicists advertise their services by stating that without them, you won't be successful. What is success? It is a term and a situation that holds a different meaning for everyone. Therefore, you have to decide if your definition of success can be accomplished through your efforts, through someone else's efforts, or a combination thereof. Let's spend a minute on the post-publishing process for your book, which is commonly known as marketing. Without getting into detail, the following are the major deliverables you need to offer during the marketing stage: 1) To be included in a press
kit: You already have most of the required press kit information in your head. All you have to do is put it on paper. There is a right way and a wrong way to format and present data. As with any writing topic, there are multiple books, newsletters, E-Zines, and web sites that will teach you about the press kit, its contents, and the correct way to present it. One all-inclusive source is, The Art of the Press Kit, written by M. Whitington of 23 House Publishing (www.23house.com). 2) Web Site Although in my previous life, I worked in the computer field for 21 years, I didn't build my first web site until I began writing full time. Designing, publishing and maintaining a web site is not rocket science. There are many user-friendly web site creation programs that will allow you to design and publish a very professional looking site. 3) Clipping Service Once you begin sending out press releases and giving radio and television interviews, the process of tracking ink from newspaper and magazine reviews, along with transcripts and fallout from radio and television broadcasts can quickly become overwhelming. Since this data is critical in establishing credibility, I recommend a clipping service. If you hire a publicist, they will provide this service for only the term of your contract. There are multiple non-publicist agencies that offer clipping services. I use a company called Competitive Edge (www.clipresearch.com). For a minimal monthly fee, they provide a very professional and thorough product. 4) Media Contacts This is the big boy. Almost every publicist is going to tell you that the main item they bring to the PR table is their media contacts, which is true. After immersing yourself neck deep in the marketing process, finding correct media contact information while simultaneously learning how to approach those contacts is by far the most difficult and crucial job. If you think this service is worth over $32,000 for six months of help -- go for it. Or, you can educate yourself on how to approach editors, producers, reporters, and talk show hosts on your own. If you do decide to go it alone, one of the best resources for reliable media information is Bacon's Media News, Service and Information (www.bacons.com). They not only offer multiple volumes of up-to-date contacts in different mediums, but they also categorize different media groups such as computer and high-tech, medical and health, and business media, just to name a few. As you develop your marketing plan (which is an ever changing and fluid document), you must answer one all-important question - what results do you want from your efforts? This answer falls hand-in-hand with your definition of "success." Another important item you must closely examine is -- you. What type of person are you? Are you thick-skinned, motivated, self-confident, or passive? Do you feel that you have what it takes to make a difference? The answer to these questions will directly relate to your marketing activities. Consider the following: If you've reached the point where your book is in print or on CD-ROM, you already have all the qualities necessary to successfully market your product. Are you able to paper your walls with rejection slips acquired during your agent and publisher search? If so, you had the drive to move forward, didn't you? If not, you wouldn't be where you are today. The bottom line is to recognize the fact that you are more than likely already on the same level playing field as many commercial publicity firms. When it comes to marketing, publicity and advertising, I'm not recommending one process over another. I am making the point that you as an author, have options. Which path you choose to travel depends on your personal situation. If finances aren't an issue, and you would rather not deal with marketing, or you lack confidence, contracting with a professional literary publicist may be for you. If on the other hand, you want to retain complete control of your literary destiny, you may elect to jump into the post-publishing process with both feet. You alone, hold the answer to this decision. What do you feel most comfortable with? What do you consider success? What is important to you? Until next time, good luck and good marketing! Note: The author was not compensated in any way or form by the companies mentioned in this article. * * * * * Mark Vass is the author of "The I’m Going in the Hospital Handbook," which is published in e-book format by 23 House Publishing (www.23house.com), and in paperback by 1st Books Library (www.1stbooks.com). Until last year, he worked in marketing in the computer field for over twenty years. Although he began his part-time writing career fifteen years ago, he now writes nonfiction full time.
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a) Author's Bio|
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Word play. Painting with words. Exotic illusion. These are things the poet has been doing since the first rhyme was created. Of course, the pictographs by Ogg on the cavern walls don't really count! The only difference between what the poet brings into existence and the author composes is simply the space used. In the least amount of words, the poem exudes the essence of what is being rendered and bear to fulfillment a reader's satisfaction. Therefore, a poet chooses his/her words carefully and wisely to generate the images desired. Of course, if the poem rhymes, word choice is even more selective. An author of a story can meander down the channels of your mind giving you images and emotions with paragraphs and pages of words. He can use a whole page just to establish the weather conditions of the setting. A poet must concisely convey it in a line or two. Once upon a midnight dreary, An excellent example that concisely portrays the time, weather, what the person is doing and health. It was a dark and stormy night - Okay, Edward Bulwer-Lytton (or the Peanuts character, Snoopy) probably is not the best example, but I'm sure that you know what I mean. A writer can expound at great length regarding what Mr. Poe established in eleven words. Most poetry attempts to tell a story in the briefest of terms, whether it be humorous, serious, thoughtful, fantastical, political, scientific, and the list goes on. Poetry consumes the spectrum of possible genres. Still, the poet also has the ability to create wonderful illusions and play with the words to excite the reader's imagination. Think back on some of the poetry you've read and perhaps you'll remember a phrase that stirred your fancy. I remember one that I thought was extremely beautiful, but all I can recall is: the sails unfurled like giant wings ... into the fiery sunset. Having spent many years on the coastlines, strolling the beaches and marinas at sunset, I'm once again transported back when I remember those words. Poets can have fun with just five lines: the limerick. There's very few readers of a limerick who don't smile. Many times a limerick will have a double meaning, but usually they're just quick, silly rhymes that poke fun at something or are just plain dirty. I close with the following limerick that combines all the components: word play, humor, a story. A flea and a fly in a flue ** * * * * Robert Nailor is the Production Manager and Poetry World Editor for the Emporium Gazette. His first novel, a Celtic fantasy, "Three Steps to Reality," is finished and currently seeking representation. Visit him at Lore's Webs.
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Are you Creative? NO !?? Then hustle to The Haven for Creativity Websites now available
at reasonable prices
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The Want-to-be
Wizard The halls of Hugginbottom University were always chilly, but what home in New England wasn't cold compared to Gizzard the Lizard's former home under a volcanic black rock in the middle of the Peruvian desert? He wasn't like the human boys who attended the school, but that didn't phase Gizzard. All he'd ever wanted was to master magic, and more recently to get warm again. How could anywhere be this frigid in mid-February? Back home it was hottest month of summer. Gizzard shivered as he thumbed through his spell-book. "Where is that incantation?" "Keep going, I know it's somewhere between my leather bindings," the heavy tome said in his sixteenth century British accent. "Atlas, you must have an idea which chapter it's in," Gizzard said. The talking book rolled his leather-brown eyes. "You can't expect even me to remember where each of my various authors recorded every single spell five hundred years ago. No one has attempted that particular spell since Hugginbottom opened its doors to students. Why won't you settle for an invisibility spell? Making things seem to float through the air, causing them to vanish, and having them seemingly reappear atop of someone's head or out their ear is always worth a laugh." "What's the use of having a talking book if he doesn't remember what spells are listed where?" asked a voice from atop Gizzard's head. "I warned the professors that our students would get lazy if they gave them talking books, but would they listen to a textbook? Hey, genius, you might try checking my index. That is if you're certain you've ripped my pages enough digging through me like a bulldog hunting a buried bone." Gizzard raised his hands in surrender. "You don't have to get snippy about it. I've already apologized for that tiny rip." "Be quick about it, though. Your final test in conjuring starts in less than an hour and you'll have to sprint across campus to make it if you don't leave soon. It's a slim chance you've got of passing without one of my better spells." Gizzard shook his head. "You books are all alike, egotists to the bitter end." "Look who's talking," muttered the book. Then he added in a more threatening tone, "Even if I did remember where it was, I wouldn't tell you. What would the other texts think if I helped you pull one over on your professor? You might as well ignore my love spells. You won't find a single one that's potent enough to make your professor like you, and certainly not enough to change those failing grades you've already earned." "No one likes a know-it-all," Gizzard chided and pulled the blankets tighter around him. Books could be so stuffy. Gizzard exhaled on his numb fingers before following the text's advice, and flipped to the index. He'd found nothing hunting page by page. The book was right: If he didn't find a special spell fast, Professor Dumbwitty would flunk him slicker than a slime frog on black ice. If he failed this final he'd have to turn in his cauldron, his wand, all his bottles of magical ingredients including the ides of April (even Caesar knew there are no ides in March) and the equally rare eye of Newt, the cyclops. He'd also have to return his talking texts, and even his closest closet friend, his hat. He enjoyed his midnight conversations with his talking, pointed cap. Only the hat seemed to understand what it felt like to be a lizard in a human world. The hat understood Gizzard's dread of that long hike along the spine of the world to his home in the Peruvian Desert. It wasn't the long trip that bothered him so much as admitting to his friends that he was a failure at magic. No, he'd find a way to pass and attain his dream of becoming the first full-fledged lizard wizard. "Ouch, will you quit squirming around down there?" his hat managed to mumble from under the weight of his seven blankets. "How would you like it if I bent your point back over your brim?" "Sorry, but it's so cold in here," Gizzard said. "I'm almost tempted to give up and start a fire in my bed. At least then I'd be warm. My lizard blood was never meant to withstand such a frigid climate." "No, anything but fire!" the book screeched. "You wouldn't dare use any of my pages for kindling. Would you?" Gizzard smiled. "Don't tempt me. I'm already upset enough with your holier-than-thou attitude. Be quick about it and show me where that spell is located." "I told you, I don't recall. Besides, it's cheating, and cheaters never win." Atlas had a habit of spouting clichés whenever things didn't go his chosen direction. "Forget about getting any help out of him," Stetson announced. That was the name hat had chosen for himself. He was no cowboy, but the hat liked the macho name. Besides, Gizzard appreciated Stetson's company. Unlike Atlas, the hat seemed more willing to bend Hugginbottom's ethics, those dress codes not pertaining to hats, and its endless regulations. Talking hats were a tradition at Hugging U. In New Salem witches had black cats, but wizards were a more solitary lot, confiding their closest secrets only in their magical texts and their wizards' headgear. "I'll never find it in time," Gizzard said. "Maybe Atlas is right. I'll never impress the professor with one of these flash-powder spells. Almost a quarter of these are misdirection, slight of hand and don't even qualify as real magic." Hat pressed up against the weight of the covers in a fruitless attempt to push its point to its full height. "Keep searching or I'll be sitting on someone else's noggin by this time tomorrow." The breath from Gizzard's nostrils steamed even buried under all his blankets. He rubbed his palms together and ran his scaled finger down the column of spells. Surely somewhere in this thick magic text he could find one spell that would impress his professor enough to give him a passing grade on this, his final. The suckered tip of his finger slid past lust spells, love spells, flying spells, four invisibility potions, creativity spells, genius spells involving various types of hats, even a chant that would allow him to view others from miles away. Gizzard's finger jerked to a stop on a spell listed in red ink that read dragon fire. "What's this one?" "It transforms the user into a fire-breathing dragon, but it's too dangerous," the book replied. "That's not the spell for you." "Let him be the judge of that," Stetson said. "It sounds impressive. What is its difficulty rating?" "No, Gizzard, that spell is too risky." Atlas tried to close his covers, but Gizzard wedged his fist between the pages. "Answer Stetson's question," Gizzard insisted. "What's the rating?" "Five point six four, but it's totally the wrong spell for you." "Wow!" Stetson seldom rated anything a wow. "It must be special to deserve a rating like that. That's twice the difficulty of the most of the others." "Hum, it says it's on page 947." Gizzard pried open the book and flipped the suddenly reluctant pages back to the darkest section of the text. "Let me see what's required. I might not have the necessary ingredients for such a fancy spell." Buried on the bottom of a mold-stained sheepskin page, he found the spell he sought. It took Gizzard less than a second to scan the short spell. The writing looked like nothing more than a footnote at the bottom of the page. The spell needed no rare ingredients or even a body part, so how could it deserve such a high rating? Stetson leaned forward on Gizzard's brow, studying the fancy, curled, miniature writing. "According to this it's a yin and yang spell. It transforms the wizard into a fire breathing dragon, since for every wizard there exists only one dragon." "Anything that will warm up my blood would be a relief from this horrible cold. Becoming a fire breathing dragon sounds like the ticket to me, even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Gizzard needed something so rare and unusual it would guarantee an A. With a five plus rating, this appeared to be the only spell in the book that would earn him enough points to pass. If he gave it a little extra flash, and splattered a few pints of flaming dragon spit around the classroom it might even score high enough on showmanship to pull out a B minus for the year. Even a C was a darn sight better than his current solid F. "Seriously, Gizzard, that's not that spell you want." A corner of Atlas's page turned up and frantically pointed to the barely visible print in the bottom margin of the spell-book. "Look, it says right here that this is a spell of last resort. Read the warning." Gizzard slammed the text closed, dog-earing the corner of the page at the marked spell. Placing his hand over the book's mouth he thought he'd silenced any further objections. "No, thus isn't the spell," came the garbled protest. "Don't listen to him," Stetson said. "He's jealous that he didn't find it. That spell has twice the rating of any he recommended." Atlas twisted and almost broke free. "No, it's too dangerous for you. Listen to me. Read the fine print." Gizzard wrapped one of his thickest coats around the book, stuffed it into his backpack, and sprinted out the door toward the lecture hall as fast as his short lizard legs would carry him. Stetson leaned forward, trying to maintain his perch atop Gizzard's horned head against the cold New England gale that blew out of the north. How difficult could it be? Gizzard asked himself as he dashed up the stairs, his collar flaring around his neck. Unlike the human students who attended Hugginbottom, he was already a lizard. Was it really such a huge jump from lizard to dragon? In size maybe, but not in reptilian anatomy. This was the first time being a lizard would prove helpful to Gizzard rather than a burden. Hadn't his professors always insisted that he, "Conjure what you know?" With his coat stuffed firmly into Atlas's mouth, Gizzard pried open the book to page 947 and memorized the words. It didn't seem hard, and by the time the first student stood to demonstrate his spell, Gizzard had the wording down pat. "Gizzard, are you ready to show us your spell?" Professor Dumbwitty asked as the last of the lotus blossoms settled to the floor from the previous demonstration. "Get ready to be amazed," Gizzard announced with more confidence than he'd felt in this class all year. A few snickers escaped from the rear of the lecture hall. "That will be enough of that," Dumbwitty scolded. "You must give this lad the benefit of doubt, even if he hasn't demonstrated much potential to date." "Fallendoor, Ezenbright, Flockshore," Gizzard began as his wand swished through the air gathering power from the elements. Flames of blue and orange flashed from his wand. Along the coast fishermen turned toward the mountains as lightning exploded above rocky peaks. The thunder rumbled across the hills and through the pines like an avalanche crashing down its slopes. The class gasped in horror and retreated toward the walls but Gizzard continued. He knew at a glance that he couldn't allow anything to interrupt him. Blue and white flames spiraled inward across the oak floorboards and swirled around him before climbing his legs like fingers of hot ice. Scales sloughed from Gizzard's legs, torn loose by the magical flames. Something didn't feel right. He could feel something warm coursing through his veins. Was this what it was to become a dragon? It certainly didn't hurt like he'd feared. Gizzard watched as the webbing on his fingers vanished and the scales on his knuckles fell away, replaced by soft, fragile skin. This wasn't dragon skin. Corn silk streamed down over his forehead, almost blocking his view of his classmates who now stood with mouths agape. Although they no longer towered over him, neither did he look down on them as he'd expected. At this point he had planned to stomp forward toward the class and threaten a few of the meaner boys with a few quick blasts of flame, but this idea vanished when he noticed the swelling bulges on his chest. What had he done? Had he mispronounced one of the magic words? The applause began at the back of the room, and grew into a thunder of shouts, whistles, and catcalls. "Bravo," Professor Dumbwitty shouted rising to his feet and clapping as loudly as anyone. "Where did you find this spell of transformation? Not only have you become human, but it transformed you into a female. I'm impressed, most impressed." "What do you mean, female?" Gizzard gasped, covering himself in the proper places with his surprisingly small hands and long, narrow arms that suddenly didn't seem long enough. Lizards had no qualms about lounging around in the warm sun without a stitch of clothing, but Gizzard's present nudity felt somehow humiliating. "Notice how his modesty complements his magic, class. Pretending this was all an accident rates an additional twenty points for showmanship and a bonus of one hundred for originality. You have nothing more to prove to me, Gizzard. You are truly wizard material. If you'll transform yourself back to your original form, I will record your "A" for this year's class records." "Back?" Gizzard asked as he tried to hide his larger form behind the backpack he'd stuffed under his desk. The class roared with laughter as Gizzard jerked out the magical text and flipped quickly through the pages searching for the spell. "Look," shouted one lad, "he, or should I say she, pretends she doesn't know how to change back." "I told you it was a spell of last resort," Atlas scolded. "This conjuration has no counter spell. You're stuck with being a woman." "Why didn't you warn me?" Gizzard demanded, wiping away a strange wetness that dribbled from his eyes. There were all kinds of new human sensations to experience, and they suddenly washed over him like the storm-like spell that had transformed him. "There should have been a warning in bold letters printed above that spell of yours." Stetson added. "You hats are all empty-headed," Atlas scolded. "Have you no shame? You let anyone put you on and you take on the personality of whoever wears you. I tried to tell you both, but you stuffed a sleeve in my mouth and took my spell for your own. Most wizards are human and you knew it was a yin/yang spell." Stetson didn't hesitate. "That doesn't forgive you for not warning him." "Sometimes the most important lesson in a book is written between the lines, only hinted at by the author. Not all wisdom is spelled out in bold, thirty-six point fonts. Sometimes what we don't say is as important as what we do say, but neither of you gave me a chance to warn you. Why do you think the faculty granted its students talking books? They hope to counter the acquiescent influence of you talking hats. Hats are a poor substitute for that quiet voice called conscience. They hoped to avoid exactly this kind of disaster." "Danged, sanctimonious page-thumper!" Stetson's mouth turned down on the ends, but Gizzard didn't see when the hat bared its teeth at Atlas. "So what if you're a female human, Gizzard? It can't be that bad. At least now you've attained your dream, right Professor?" "Even if you can't change back, that spell was so original, I must still grant you an A. Class it's not polite to stare and point at her female anatomy." Dumbwitty snatched Stetson from Gizzard's head and turned his back. "Nevertheless, that doesn't change a letter of the law. I can no longer let you wear even an apprentice's hat." "But you said I got an A." Gizzard could feel the students' eyes still staring at him from the rear of the class. He understood that, but he didn't understand why he suddenly felt so emotional, so betrayed. Was this what it was like being a woman, striped naked to bare emotion and separated from every ambition in life? "I must practice some kind of magic. That has been my dream ever since I hatched." "That may have been the best conjuring from a student in centuries, but that doesn't change the rules." Dumbwitty shook his head, and strands of his long gray hair tangled in his equally long beard. "If you can't change back, I have no choice. Only males are granted the title of wizard." Still hiding behind the backpack and now tiny coat, Gizzard continued to plead his case. "Doesn't my determination count for something? I've spent six years studying various forms of magic. Can't you let me graduate?" "You could still practice magic, but now you
must start your studies over as a novice witch. Only males may become
practicing wizards. The rules may not be bent for anyone. You should
have thought of that before you chose to ignore them." * * * * * Wanda Brinkman is a doctor of marine biology and spends much of her time immersed in her work, however, she enjoys tickling the senses of readers almost as much as observing ligh-emitting fish. She has written a series of science fiction short stories she hopes will be published under the title "Shardes of Space."
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